Moe Teitelbom

Moe is the murderer of the cryptkeeper's family and is also the name of a track on the album "Have yourself a scary little Christmas."

Composers
ack Wohl, Phil Hahn, Al Katz, Gilbert Adler (lyrics)/Cryptkeeper (John Kassir), the Salivating Army

Lyrics
Chesnuts and holly and pine filled the air,

and songs of the season are heard everywhere.

Though everyones happy, and full of good cheer,

(Shouting) SOME GUY NAMED MOE RUINED MY CHRISTMAS THIS YEAR!

( In the tune of "Oh, Christmas Tree") 

Moe Teitelbom, Moe Teitelbom, you did embalm my dad and mom.

And sister Kate and brother Tom, you did as well, indeed embalm.

When you embalmed my family, it felt confused and cuzzled me.

Oh, Teitelbom, I must confine, I wish you waited till they died.

(A Moment Of Silence)

The four of them you did embalm, YOU SCREWED UP BIG TIME TEITELBOM!!!

I try remaining cool and calm, but it's not working Teitelbom!

Oh, how I miss my brother Tom, my sister Kate and dad and mom.

ANOTHER THING I CAN'T BELIVE, you did it all on Christmas Eve!

Oh, Teitelbom, I wish you tried, to simply waited till' they died.

You May be proud of all your work, but I still think you're just a JERK!

''You did a fine job Teitelbom, embalming Sis and brother Tom. ''

Both mom and dad looked so unique, like they could sit right up and speak.

Embalming folks is what you do, but one thing I should say to you,

It's good advice and must be said,

DO NOT EMBALM FOLKS UNTILL THEY'RE DEAD!!!

(Long Pause)

All four of them you did embalm,

You're sush a shmo Moe Teitlebom!